SLIDER

BREAK UP WITH YOUR TOXIC FRIENDS



As you enter adulthood, it's hard to find good friends and it's even harder to maintain them. Everyone is trying to find themselves and their place, that it's easy and reasonable to not always be meeting new people and cultivating new friendships. Is this a reason so many people find themselves holding on to friendships that they've outgrown a long time ago? Maybe. What I see is a new surge of young women that are maintaining "friendships" with people that barely deserve the title of friend. It's time we break out of that cycle, for our own happiness. 




Acknowledging Those Dead Friendships

Look at those people that you surround yourself with. Can you say every person brings value into your life? Each person you have saved in your phone will answer the phone when you have an emergency? You spend meaningful time with each person, not just partying or other social events? These make sure you are loved by them? Awesome, exit out of this post because everyone in your life is amazing! However, if you're like me you'll see that not every friendship you have is a real one. There are friends that you may have outgrown but keep them around out of comfort, friends that make you feel insecure, friends that only call when they have an issue but will dodge you when its time for it to be reciprocated. (I'm using the term friend veryyyy loosely here). Why keep that in your life?



Time To Cut Those Dead Ends

You're probably like "Ok Lauren, these people are shitty - what am I supposed to do about it?" Well, it's time to cut those dead ends and I'm not talking about hair - although a celebratory trim is always a good idea! I always encourage people to see if some friendships can be saved. Nobody wants to feel like they are just throwing someone away. So reach out! Let them know how you are feeling with the status of the friendship. If they are receptive and change, perfect! Some people are not going to want to though, and that's perfectly okay. Remember - you can't change anyone, you can only change yourself and the people you surround yourself with. Thank them for the time spent as friends (in your head or to their face) and let go. You don't owe an explanation, but it's okay to let someone know you simply outgrew the friendship but still care about them and wish them the best. Life is too short to be surrounded by people that aren't team you!

Loving Solitude and Finding Your Tribe

You may be feeling totally refreshed and brand new after making these cuts, or if you're anything like me you may be feeling alone and totally regretting cutting off these people. Both feelings are totally normal, but know that despite your initial feelings to this major change - you did the right thing for yourself. Take the time you would normally be putting into these one-sided friendships into yourself. Take yourself on dates, try a new hobby, join a fun class in your community. Doing things that make you happy by yourself will allow you to find a true sense of your identity again. When you know who you are and what you like, you're able to attract like-minded people. Build up your tribe with people that share similar passions with you. I know it sounds completely ridiculous to go up to a stranger and start a conversation, but it works! I also recommend using things like Facebook groups to meet new people, the Bumble BFF app, and Meetup for finding groups of people that have similar interests.

Here's to cultivating some amazing, lifelong friendships!

20 comments

  1. nice post,amazing lines are shared

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  2. Great read. This is having me reevaluate some of my friendships. This came right on time. thank you

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  3. Good read, thanks for sharing.

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  4. This is an interesting topic: we need to realize we become like the people we are around and it’s best to spend more time on maintaining friendships than collecting new acquaintances too!

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  5. Yes, yes, yes and more yes. <3 Mental health comes first!

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  6. This is such a hard thing to do, but so important. I don't miss my toxic relationships even a little bit.

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  7. People come in your life for a reason or a season. Know the difference. Great post!

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  8. I couldn't agree more! The people you surround yourself with have a major impact on your well-being. And if you're in a toxic relationship of any kind, ending it is the best thing for everyone. It can be so difficult, but it's also such a relief in the end. Thanks for sharing! :)

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  9. I love this, especially the part where you said you don't owe and explanation. I'm usually so afraid of offending "friends" that don't care about offending me. I've recently decided to delete/unfollow, and stop talking to anyone that causes me to feel down on myself. Thanks for this encouraging post!

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  10. Making me think about a few relationships. Thank you!

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  11. Cutting off toxic friends is not easy but I say a total yes to cutting them off.

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  12. "When you know who you are and what you like, you're able to attract like-minded people" SO TRUE. I just got rid of FIVE toxic friends.. FIVE!! This post is so amazing. Keep it up!

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  13. Hi Lauren! I wanted to let you know I'm nominating your blog for the Liebster Award. I love your site. Cheers!

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  14. Thanks for this post! I had some really toxic friends and I felt like I had to change who I was to please them but now I’m so happy as they’re no longer in my life!

    Great advice xxx

    www.laurenannbeauty.com

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  15. Hello, Lauren, I have had to cut off a lot of people in my lifetime and my life has been richer and drama free since I have done so. Some of these folks tried to sneak back into my life and it is best, once they are gone, to keep them gone!

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  16. This is such a good read, has me thinking about all my friendships

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  17. Loveeee this! I've also had some toxic friendships that I've recently let go off & have worried about doing it but I know it's for the best as they didn't make me feel good at all.

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